My intention is to share my own experience with anger & the wisdom I have gained from this, because many people I have spoken to have also resonated with it.
As a child I was yelled at or told off by parents & other adults, & strong feelings of anger, sadness & hurt would arise as a result. I was not encouraged to express my emotions because the authority was always given to the adult, so I was expected to “get over it”, “toughen up” & “stop crying” or face further repercussions for my behaviour. As a reaction to not being taught how to properly process my emotions, I would close my mouth, tense my jaw & swallow the feelings that accompanied the unpleasant experience. I became indifferent & unemotional when anger was directed towards me & this unhealthy response intensified as an adult. Any time conflict arose that elicit an emotional response, I would “swallow” my anger in an attempt to preserve the feelings of other’s, which involuntarily morphed into people pleasing at my own expense. I prioritised making others feel more comfortable & sacrificed the relaxation & flow of energy within my own body, as the emotion of anger stagnated within my jaws & mouth.
When we don’t express our emotions they become stored energy in our bodies & often manifest into varied physical sensations. The throat chakra, or Vishuddha, is the energy centre of our bodies responsible for communicating our thoughts & personal truths, including the honest & raw expression of anger. If you find that your jaws click or you clench them during the night, or bite the inside of your gums, or experience a lot of sore throats, tooth aches or gum inflammation, or have experienced problems with tonsils, lymph nodes or even thyroid issues, or even something as subtle as the urge to eat really crunchy food, then you may be experiencing physical signals of a blocked throat chakra storing emotional debris.
So why does this happen? Simply put; you’re not expressing your emotions properly. You’re not speaking your truth. You’re not allowing the energy flow of emotion to rise through your throat & out of your mouth to be received by the world. The energy is “blocked” & becomes stagnant & stored in your throat, causing you physical discomfort which alarms your body of an emotional imbalance, suppressed trauma or uncomfortable memories stored within.
The expression of anger is indicative that personal boundaries have been crossed, or it can serve as a mask for deeper emotional burdens such as shame, guilt or anxiety. When we experience anger, it’s important that we RESPOND rather than REACT. Responding to your anger helps you get to the root of the issue(s), whereas reacting fuels the fire & perpetuates the underlying trauma & hurt that is causing the reaction. If you wish to address your response to anger in a simple & healthy manner, here are some methods to begin practicing in order to calm yourself down & release the anger from your mind and body:
1. Concentrate on your breath. Lay down on your bed with your hands on your stomach & breathe slowly & deeply into your stomach. As you breathe out, imagine that your breath is FIRE & that this fire is burning the situation or the person you are feeling anger towards. Repeat this again & again until you feel the anger subside.
2. Journal your thoughts. It doesn’t have to be perfect but writing about your thoughts & emotions serves as a release valve & brings clarity & personal insight to help better deal with conflicting situations moving forward. Write down some questions that clarify your thoughts step-by-step:
- Why am I angry? “I am angry because ….. mistreated me.”
- How did they mistreat me? “I felt emotionally/physically/spiritually mistreated by ….”
- What emotions arose when I felt mistreated? I felt hurt, sad and confused…etc.”
- How did this make me feel? “I felt used, taken for granted, unappreciated…etc.”
- Which belief systems do these feeling originate from? “My feelings are not important”, “I can’t take up space”, “I am worthless”, “I don’t feel seen, heard or valued by people in my life…”
- When were these memories or beliefs formed? How far back into your past must you explore? When was the first time you didn’t feel seen, heard or valued?
Be as honest as possible & keep asking deeper questions until you find the root cause. Sometimes simply being aware of these internal mechanisms is enough to find peace.
3. Create a ritual to release the anger. Write a letter to the person or the situation that you hold a lot of anger or emotion towards. Write down all your thoughts & feelings unfiltered & anything else that arises in the process. Fold it up and burn it in a bowl, your fireplace, outside, or bury it in the soil & plant something on top. Burning white sage in the form of a smudge stick is also a simple ritual that helps to bring a sense of calm awareness & cleansing. Don’t underestimate the power of ritual cleansing to assist in emotional release.
These steps are not exhaustive but will help you to focus & form healthy habits to assist with the flow of energy & release of anger from your body in a way that leads to emotional resilience & wellbeing moving forward. Anger is energy-in-motion & regardless of its negative connotations, it is designed to FLOW & keep moving. Learning how to process & express your anger in a healthy way is paramount to emotional unblocking, healing & regulation, which contributes to the development of healthy emotional boundaries & better self awareness.
Abbie is an Akashic Records Reader & Quantum Energy Healer whose work focuses on finding & healing the root causes of emotional & physical distress, to bring you back into balance. You can connect with her on instagram @iamabbiemoon or via her website www.abbiemoon.org